Things You won't hear a Texas Say

Assorted sources of Texas pride, from ---redacted---. ----- Original Message ----- From: ---redacted---.aol.com To: ---redacted---@houston.rr.com Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2005 8:46 PM Subject: Things You won't hear a Texas Say (If you're not a Texan, just substitute some other state...)Things You WON'T Hear A Texan Say . . .~*~ Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.~*~I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex~*~Duct tape won't fix that.~*~Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.~*~Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.~*~Hell no, we don't keep firearms in this house.~*~Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?~*~You can't feed that to the dog.~*~I thought Graceland was tacky.~*~No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.~*~Wrasslin's fake.~*~Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?~*~We're vegetarians.~*~Do you think my gut is too big?~*~I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.~*~Honey, we don't need another dog.~*~Who's Richard Petty?~*~Give me the small bag of pork rinds.~*~Too many deer heads detract from the decor.~*~Spittin' is such a nasty habit.~*~I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.~*~Trim the fat off that thar steak.~*~Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.~*~The tires on that truck are too big.~*~I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.~*~I've got it all on the C drive.~*~Unsweetened tea tastes better.~*~Would you like your fish poached or broiled?~*~My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.~*~I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.~*~Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.~*~Checkmate.~*~She's too young to be wearing a bikini.~*~Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?~*~Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.~*~I don't have a favorite college team.~*~Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.~*~I believe you cooked those green beans too long.~*~Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.~*~Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.