Don't Fall Asleep in Church

Sent: Friday, May 13, 2005 10:58 AM Subject: Don't Fall Asleep in Church A man goes to the minister at his church. "Preacher, he said, wehave a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?" "I'venoticed this and have an idea if you are up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping and Iwill motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the legwith the hat pin. At church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the minister put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp hat pin. "Yes! You arecorrect, Mrs. Jones!" came the ministers quick reply. Mrs. Jonesthen turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning to Mr. Jones. "My God!' howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Mrs. Jones againgaveher husband a real hard threatening glare.Before long though she again nodded off. This time however the ministerdid not notice.As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made afew hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted! , "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"And all the women in the congregation replied "Amen!"