Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:

Funny, Frivolous, Painful, Practical... these are shoes?

2009-06-27T21:18:00.019-05:00

That any of these could be worn for even a minute except perhaps the green ones or the blue ones would seem to defy physics as well as good sense, certainly good fashion sense. Thanks to Sherry and cousin Judy for these remarkable images.

Day of the Dead

2009-04-13T08:08:00.001-05:00

Dead Terrorist from Walter's Dad, you know, Walter the most lovable old man ever. Thanks to ElKa for this one. Ded Bob Ded Bob has to be one of the classic shows on the Midwest Renaissance Festival circuits! On Halloween Weekend at the Texas Renaissance Festival 2007, he officially opened his bid to become the next... Ded Bob for President Thanks to our RE Agent, Ms Bee Pee Oh, for these, you might know her brother, Three. !-)

World's Best Beer Commerical

2009-03-23T15:02:00.006-05:00

I have an MPEG of the world's best beer commerical. Now all I have to do is figure out how to post it here. Perhaps I could upload it to YouTube and then link it in. If I put it on YouTube it will come down on copyright issues most likely. Hum, I wonder ... Thanks to Nicki in Florida for this little wonder. And, Oh Yeah, Nicki, thanks again for your sister, she is wonderful. Well, I supposed this statement is the answer, object id="BLOG_video-FAILED". We perservere. We'll get it here somehow, it's too good to miss.

Fwd: Fw: Blue Pigeon

2007-12-11T11:54:00.000-06:00

Blue Pigeon The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix. The mayor could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop.

The people of Phoenix couldn't walk on the sidewalks or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to try to keep the streets and sidewalks clean. One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.

"I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons

without cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me five million

dollars and ask one question." The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition. The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon.

The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into

the bright blue Arizona sky.

All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon.

They gathered up behind the blue pigeon, and followed

the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall. The Mayor was very impressed.

He thought the man and the blue pigeon had performed a

wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though the ma n with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 5 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 5 million just to get to ask ONE question. The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his question.

The mayor asked: "Do you have a blue Mexican?

Thanks to CJ for this one

Fwd: Subject: FW: Thoughts, Enjoy a live life!!

2007-09-18T22:14:00.003-05:00

Some of you are related to me by blood, sweat or tears, and in some cases all three. I used to get a lot of "Fwd" email, an old one is below, until an old friend died recently and then I dropped out of the loop. Loop me back in, please, if you like.

---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Bionicladyxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Date: Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:32:05 EST Subject: Subject: FW: Thoughts, Enjoy a live life!! To: xxxxxxxxxxx

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN: 1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

But Most Of All, Remember !

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

-- George

Nookie and a cookie

2005-11-11T19:07:00.000-06:00

Nookie and a cookie, along with the winner of the "It's not my job" category and an eight year old's note showing complete command of the English language came in the mail recently from a friend who has been ill and is obviously doing better. Good work, Don!

Rednecks, we're everywhere

2005-11-06T15:19:00.000-06:00

Rednecks, we're everywhere and so are these pictures, but some of them are truly hilarious.

See more and a little more.

Fwd: Fw: RED NECK PHOTO ALBUM-READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

2005-08-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: George <> Date: Aug 24, 2005 9:38 PM Subject: Re: Fw: RED NECK PHOTO ALBUM-READ AT YOUR OWN RISK To: don <>

In our never ending quest for sources and a misguided effort to facilitate the efficient use of bandwidth, especially for our friends still on dialup we offer the following

Red Neck Photo Album

which appears to be the source of the photos. The complete site is just amazing though I will warn you it's a big home page, on dialup it takes minutes to load. Thanks Stacy for a great lead. I've posted the link on Fwd:Fwd:Fwd: -- George

Re: Fw: Great Comeback

2005-08-20T13:03:00.001-05:00

Posted on Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:, outstanding, Thank You!

On 8/20/05, George wrote:

Best indeed! ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: don

Date: Aug 19, 2005 6:41 AM Subject: Fw: Great Comeback To: Bioniclady

This pearl from Ed provides unity to our national pleasures, by expanding what i had always taken as a Southern sport involving good lads in Mississippi watermelon fields and true love, 'tis reassuring to know that our Northern cousins enjoy similar delights in veggie/fruity love practices. Northerners can even cook afterwards - No wonder they won The Wah and have had peculiar politics ever since. Excellent rendition even tho haven't verified accuracy of this particular account.

don

----- Original Message -----
From:

To:

Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 3:53 PM

Subject: Fw: Great Comeback

----- Original Message -----
From:

To:

Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 10:38 PM

Subject: Great Comeback

Subject: Best comeback Line This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula , GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said...... " A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'

-- George

Fwd: Fw: Great Comeback

2005-08-20T12:35:00.000-05:00

Best indeed!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: don

Date: Aug 19, 2005 6:41 AM
Subject: Fw: Great Comeback
To: Bioniclady

This pearl from Ed provides unity to our national pleasures, by expanding what i had always taken as a Southern sport involving good lads in Mississippi watermelon fields and true love, 'tis reassuring to know that our Northern cousins enjoy similar delights in veggie/fruity love practices. Northerners can even cook afterwards - No wonder they won The Wah and have had peculiar politics ever since. Excellent rendition even tho haven't verified accuracy of this particular account.

don

----- Original Message -----

From:

To:

Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2005 3:53 PM

Subject: Fw: Great Comeback

----- Original Message -----

From:

To:

Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 10:38 PM

Subject: Great Comeback

Subject: Best comeback Line

This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was
Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula , GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County
courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said......

" A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'

Alexander Fleming, good news travels fast

2005-08-15T23:41:00.000-05:00

I have received a number of emails lately with this text below or something similar. The site this text is taken from, CharityGuide.org, had the nicest presentation of the material

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself.

Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings ... -read more-

CharityGuide.org also got extra credit for linking to the best of the Churchill sites, The Churchill Centre, with

Leading Churchill Myths
Fleming saved him from Drowning

Bravo! CharityGuide.org, good work.

Fwd: The Honeymoon

2005-08-10T13:57:00.000-05:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bioniclady
Date: Aug 9, 2005 11:59 PM
Subject: The Honeymoon
To: aaaa@yahoo.com, aaaa@tidel.com, aaaa@enscous.com, aaaa@enscous.com, ....
Subject: The Honeymoon
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin -- in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week. He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together ... an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these. He immediately drops his pants and replies. "Look at this, .. still in the CRATE!"

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican ???

2005-08-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Politically Incorrect (but true!)

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican ???

Here is a little test that will help you decide . . .

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges!

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do??

Democrat's Answer:

Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click . . . (the sounds of new magazine being loaded)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click . . .
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy. Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or did you use the hollow points?"

Thanks again to Don, who forwards and forwards, more than we can post.

Just in!

2005-08-03T22:20:00.000-05:00

Fw: JUST IN!!!2 messages don Wed, Aug 3, 2005 at 8:55 PM To: a---------- And another slice of political insight from one of our former metallographers. don ----- Original Message ----- From: M---------- To: A------ ; B------ ; D------ Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2005 7:14 PM Subject: FW: JUST IN!!! -----Original Message-----From: Doug/D------ Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2005 10:17 AMTo: Undisclosed-Recipient:;Subject: JUST IN!!! All of the evidence is not in, but it appears that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has admitted in a recent press conference that she slept with former President Bill Clinton. Will send details when they become available; all I have now is the photo shown below.........

Kill all the lawyers

2005-07-27T20:56:00.000-05:00

From: -------------- Sent: Monday, July 25, 2005 8:27 PM Subject: Fw: LAWYER JOKE A guy in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back "I resent that." The first guy asked "Are you a lawyer?" The second guy responded "No, I'm an asshole."

G-------- to ----- More options 7:51 pm (1 hour ago) It is indeed one of the best, thank you.

I think there is an endless supply of lawyer jokes, some I recall are given here.

Why does New York City have the highest concentration of attorneys per square mile and New Jersey has the highest concentration of toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first choice.

Deep down we've found lawyers aren't so bad, about a twenty five foot hole we've found to be the best.

The truck driver who lived in a small town asked one of the local lawyers clear up a small matter for him. The lawyer phoned the trucker one day on the road, told him that the problem had been resolved favorably and asked him to come by the office at his next opportunity and pay the bill. The trucker came off the road one day, stopped by the lawyer's office, paid his bill of one hundred dollars with a crisp new bill, thanked the lawyer and left. The lawyer noticed later in the day that he had in fact received two one hundred dollar bills tightly stuck together. Then of course the lawyer felt he was in a serious moral dilema, do you know what the dilema was? Of course you do, whether or not to tell his partner about the extra revenue.

It's interesting that those who preform some of the most necessary functions in times of crisis, lawyers and doctors, are the butt of such endless ridicule.

Ever mindful of criticism the lawyers have taken to trying to turn the tables a bit:

"The First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers" Shakespeare's Tribute to Trial Lawyers

The web is just littered with variants of the text found in the link above. It must be commerical boilerplate that's personalized for each lawyer's site.

And finally, a more understandable view:

it's a lawyer joke Seth Finkelstein, sethf@mit.edu

Are there any offensive Buddhist jokes?

2005-07-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

George to don More options 8:18 pm (2 minutes ago) I have known this story since about age 10 or 12. Perhaps Catholic school education brings these around early. The story has likely been around for a good while in one form or another and I wouldn't be suprised if it was popularized in the fifties by Neuhart or Berman. Then of course there are the Mary stories, the most popular being:

Jesus encounters a crowd about to stone and adulteress, stepping between the crowd and the adulteress Jesus admonishes the crowd with the well known verse about the sinless throwing the first stone. Whereupon a wizened little woman comes forward with an enormous stone in her hands, and Jesus says, "Oh, mother, please!"

- Show quoted text -

On 7/25/05, don wrote:

- Show quoted text -

And a little religious humor from Rev. W.

don

----- Original Message -----

From: Bob

To:

Sent: Monday, July 25, 2005 2:08 PM

Subject: Israel - Hide quoted text -

I am sure that his Holiness Mr. Valery would appreciate this one.

- Hide quoted text -

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father, "what have I done!" He took his problem to his best friend. "Ike". He said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?" "Funny you should ask," said Ike. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the Rabbi." They explained their problem to the Rabbi. "Funny you should ask," said the rabbi. "I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people? They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens: "Funny you should ask," said the voice. "I, too, sent my son to Israel...

If you are a REAL TEXAN

2005-07-22T19:18:00.000-05:00

bio-----@aol.com to do------n, al------d, B----E, k----- ...

More options 10:47 am (8 hours ago)

This is the best one that I've seen regarding Texas.

Love, Charlotte

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Txnvbob

To: m-------.net

Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 11:20:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time

Subject: Fwd: Fw: Fwd: : Texas

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: "M--------------

To: <t--------------------------

Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2005 08:49:45 -0500 (Central Daylight Time)

Subject: Fw: Fwd: : Texas

-------Original Message-------

From: P----------

Date: 07/17/05 08:19:00

To: C--------------------

Subject: Fwd: : Texas

Note: forwarded message attached.

TEXAS

When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions

like, Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got

a bunch of guns, eh?"

They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched

Dallas.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with

me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the

Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a

part of you as anything ever will be.. As soon as anyone

anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's

Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a

picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What

happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might

get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even

if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person

who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on

a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is some little bit of

Texas in everyone

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, "Wow...so you're from

Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?" Do you know why? Because

there's no place like Texas.

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church,

facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who

had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed

instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom. We send our

kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and

Crockett and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in

the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne

paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.

Texas is "Juneteenth" and Texas Independence Day.

Texas is huge! forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett

National Forest.

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the

Texas Hill Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South

Texas.

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico.

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in

Arlington and the Astrodome.

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton

Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Waylon Jennings, Janis

Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top,

Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, George

Bush, Lyndon B.Johnson, and George W. Bush.

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments

and Compaq. And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE,! Home of the F-16 Jet

Fighter and the JSF Fighter.

Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the

local High School Football game on Friday nights and for the

Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the Night In Old San

Antonio River Parade in San Antonio. Texas is ocean beaches,

deserts, lake s and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern

cities.

If it isn't in Texas, you probably don't need it.

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly

its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that

for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in

Maryland, California, or Maine and your state flag, whatever it

is, goes at 17 feet. You fly t! he Stars and Stripes in front of

Pine Tree High in Longview or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone

Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why?

Because it is the only state that was a republic before it

became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here.

Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than

the capitol building in Washington, D.C. and we can divide our

state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We

included these things as part of the deal when we came on.

That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!!

If you are a REAL TEXAN you won't even need to be told to pass

this on!

Independence Day

2005-07-04T12:35:00.000-05:00

This came as a bookmark inserted in a book purchased from an alternate vendor on Amazon. The book was Imperial Hubris, we'll let the vendor remain anonymous. Also, see today's post on Quality of the Light. A little research has shown this novelty bill to be one of a set of thirteen available for purchase at the Novelty Bank Notes section of McCraw Enterprises LLC. The bill is littered with antiwar and antiglobalization website addresses incorporated into the graphics.

I don't know why I'm sending this; it's appalling.

2005-06-30T19:22:00.000-05:00

----- Original Message ----- From: H---------@aol.com To: d---------@houston.rr.com Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2005 2:30 AM Subject: Fwd: Fw: Neo-con Christianity The web address below contains a series of quotes from various proponents of the radical religious and political right. I suspect Kim may actually have had the same reason that I have in circulating these quotes. I genuinely fear that a great many Americans do not actually realize: 1) how radical and dangerous the thinking and intentions of the radical religious right are, 2) the extent to which Rove and Bush have gone and will go to satisfy this part of their political base, and/or 3) how many of both the Republicans who essentially vote their pocketbooks and the moderate Evangelicals who eschew the more radical dimensions of the radical religious have chosen for whatever reasons to ignore the dangers to the country of this unholy alliance between the radical political right and the radical religious right. It is undoubtedly not justifiable to hang a few of these more extreme quotes around Bush's neck, but taken as a whole the quotes give a frightening, nauseating, and pretty much on the mark sense of the flavor and direction Rove, Bush, Cheney, Frist, and DeLay are leading our country, and ignoring the reality of that is also not justifiable. -- Rhea Subject: Neo-con Christianity I don't know why I'm sending this; it's appalling. I guess it's fascinating in the same way a car crash is: http://www.reandev.com/taliban/ Kim An interesting curiosity is the site itself http://www.reandev.com/ particularly the C Panel. Now, if you really want to see where this goes try this thread from ReveloutinaryLeft.com This particular piece, Quotes from the American Taliban, from www.reandev.com has been linked all over the web. Just look at this Google search. It's difficult without a lot of time consuming sifting to find the seminal post of the original material, but here's the same material on different blog in somewhat better graphic style. This link is the last entry on the first page of the Google search. Here it is again from the 10th page of the Google search linked back again to the www.reandev.com site from another blog. There is some discussion of these postings on the Snopes message board. I'm not sure how to rank the search engine hits chronologically so as to uncover the oldest and supposedly first posting on the web without writing a search engine myself, but it would be very interesting to chase items like this to their source. The potential for spin for these postings as they become graphically more sophisticated is enormous. Eddie Bernays's head would spin at the possibilities, eh? If you're not familiar with Eddie Bernays you might try Larry Tye's biography of Edward L. Bernays it will put the web and blogs in a new light for you.

Something to Offend Everyone

2005-06-29T19:32:00.000-05:00

From: don To: a--------@aol.com Date: Jun 29, 2005 3:01 PM Subject: Fw: Something to offend everyone An extract of a much longer email is shown below. Much more can be found at Chronicles of Hectia. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time....." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain 't gonna believe this shit..." My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...When 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it the PGA TOUR.

I don't find this unusual

2005-06-25T16:18:00.000-05:00

From: Bob To: mailto:@comcast.net Sent: Tuesday, June 21, 2005 8:39 AM Subject: ONLY IN TEXAS. . . . .

This just keeps coming around

2005-06-25T16:05:00.000-05:00

From: His-------@aol.com To: da-------@houston.rr.com Sent: Saturday, June 18, 2005 1:35 PM Subject: Fwd: Texas Drinking Rules Texas Drinking Rules A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glass is so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice." An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either. The Texas boy, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, and catches his glass. He says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

Encouragement

2005-06-25T15:52:00.000-05:00

From: "Bob--------------etcom.com To: "Jo----------------m.com Subject: I love You!! Date: 16 June, 2005 13:24

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He has probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

Whoa, dude...

2005-06-25T14:13:00.000-05:00

----- Original Message ----- From: xxxxxxxxxxxx To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2005 7:11 PM Subject: Fwd: Oops! Imagine walking into the bathroom in a friend's high rise apartment, during a party, slightly buzzed, and seeing this painted floor.

How embarassing, the bouquet

2005-05-16T23:33:00.000-05:00

And more marriage stuff from ol' montague. don ----- Original Message ----- From: xxxxxxxxxxx To: xxxxxxxxxxx ; xxxxxxxx ; xxxxxxxxxxxx Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 7:39 AM Subject: FW: How embarrassing -----Original Message----- From: xxxxxxxxxxx Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 5:04 AM To: Undisclosed-Recipient:@mail.xxxxx.net; Subject: Fw: How embarrassing You are at a wedding. You are a total Diva. The best dress, a perfect hairdo... You fall in love with an invited guest ... You get secret looks the entire night... On the dance floor, he's by your side constantly, and he dances like a god... You are the couple of the evening... The anticipated moment has arrived for all single women... The bride is about to throw the bouquet... You are first in line, in a strategic position... Once there, you wait for the right moment... You look at him sensually, and with your eyes you tell him..... If I catch the bouquet...I Will Marry You! And then, the moment you've been waiting for... The bride throws the bouquet... He doesn't stop looking at you... You jump like never before to catch the bouquet... Your arms stretched out... Your hands open... And suddenly...

Secret to a happy marriage

2005-05-16T23:29:00.000-05:00

Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 5:01 AM

To: Undisclosed-Recipient:@mail.xxxxxx.xx;

Subject: Fw: Secret to a happy marriage A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, " Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop.... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... " He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise...OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips. "But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that...." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? "LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER...GOT IT, ASSHOLE?" ....and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

The Blonde's Year in Review

2005-05-15T19:47:00.000-05:00

Sent: Wednesday, May 11, 2005 7:16 AM Subject: The Blonde's Year in Review> THE BLONDE YEAR IN REVIEW >>> January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.>> February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit> into the typewriter.>> March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6> months because the box said "2-4 years.">> April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.>> May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those> little packets.>> June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with> a slope.>> July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained > to> the judges that the other swimmers were using their> arms.>> August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their> locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top> was down.>> September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C.">> October - Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel.>> November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour> per pound and she weighed 120.>> December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone>

Things You won't hear a Texas Say

2005-05-15T19:31:00.000-05:00

Assorted sources of Texas pride, from ---redacted---. ----- Original Message ----- From: ---redacted---.aol.com To: ---redacted---@houston.rr.com Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2005 8:46 PM Subject: Things You won't hear a Texas Say (If you're not a Texan, just substitute some other state...)Things You WON'T Hear A Texan Say . . .~*~ Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.~*~I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex~*~Duct tape won't fix that.~*~Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.~*~Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.~*~Hell no, we don't keep firearms in this house.~*~Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?~*~You can't feed that to the dog.~*~I thought Graceland was tacky.~*~No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.~*~Wrasslin's fake.~*~Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?~*~We're vegetarians.~*~Do you think my gut is too big?~*~I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.~*~Honey, we don't need another dog.~*~Who's Richard Petty?~*~Give me the small bag of pork rinds.~*~Too many deer heads detract from the decor.~*~Spittin' is such a nasty habit.~*~I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.~*~Trim the fat off that thar steak.~*~Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.~*~The tires on that truck are too big.~*~I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.~*~I've got it all on the C drive.~*~Unsweetened tea tastes better.~*~Would you like your fish poached or broiled?~*~My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.~*~I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.~*~Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.~*~Checkmate.~*~She's too young to be wearing a bikini.~*~Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?~*~Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.~*~I don't have a favorite college team.~*~Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.~*~I believe you cooked those green beans too long.~*~Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.~*~Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

Don't Fall Asleep in Church

2005-05-15T19:27:00.000-05:00

Sent: Friday, May 13, 2005 10:58 AM Subject: Don't Fall Asleep in Church A man goes to the minister at his church. "Preacher, he said, wehave a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?" "I'venoticed this and have an idea if you are up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping and Iwill motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the legwith the hat pin. At church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the minister put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp hat pin. "Yes! You arecorrect, Mrs. Jones!" came the ministers quick reply. Mrs. Jonesthen turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning to Mr. Jones. "My God!' howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Mrs. Jones againgaveher husband a real hard threatening glare.Before long though she again nodded off. This time however the ministerdid not notice.As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made afew hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted! , "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"And all the women in the congregation replied "Amen!"